A Lesson From Haiti

So I've thought to myself how crazy it was that I went to Haiti with Lymphoma and didn't get sick! (well except the bad water experience). I can see it was God protecting me. I wanted to go to Haiti to bring them Gods love and share His promise of Hope through the message of Jesus. Now I am able to look back and see God also had a plan to use Haiti to prepare me to live with Lymphoma. I thank you all for the kind words about me but please know I am no superhuman. I am a frail, weak person that God is using to show His strength. For example, for the first time in my life I am battling with real anxiety. Not just the nervousness you feel before a test or before the begining of a race. At times since this diagnosis I can feel my heart race, my breathing increase and feel short of breath and wonder if I'm losing my mind. The first night of my diagnosis I didn't sleep. The second night I was laying in bed and began to cry out to God to help me. Eric was there and began praying for me. As he prayed he reminded me of something I told him God had taught me in Haiti. When I flew to Haiti I was in a single engine small plane. I was scared to death!!! As we began to take off and fly over the ocean I had my eyes closed tight. My palms began to sweat and I started to pray. As I was praying the Lord said "OK Kim, you can either sit here and be afraid or you can trust me, open your eyes and enjoy the journey. Just look at my beautiful creation I've made for you!" So I decided to trust Him. He'd been faithful before, I knew He would be again. Needless to say, I had an amazing "eyes wide open" experience overlooking the amazing blue-green colors of the Carribean waters. So as Eric prayed and reminded me of this, I could feel the anxiety melt away. I knew I had a Father I could trust. I knew that He was taking me on a new journey to teach me and draw me closer to Himself. I wish just realizing this completely took away the anxiety but at times it still comes. Last night, again this morning. I am so dependant on Him for help. I dig through scriptures to find God's promises for me, I pray, and I let others pray over me. I know that He loves this daughter of His, He is faithful and always ready to help. "Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you" 1 Peter 5:7 "Be strong! Be courageous! Do not be afraid of them (cancer, pain, dying)! For the Lord your God will be with you. HE will neither fail you nor forsake you." Joshua 1:9 "Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philipians 4:6-7
Love to all,
Kim